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Not Just a River in Egypt: The Most Dangerous Thing You Say to Yourself is...

$hit Happens. All the time. To everyone.

We watch the news and see a story about someone getting mugged, assaulted, sucker punched, raped, murdered.

But that stuff happens to other people. I lock my doors at night, and I have insurance. Besides, I don’t live in that part of town and I don’t associate with those sorts of people.

And then what do you say?

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Defending You from You: Self Defence, Defence of Self, and Defence From Self

So good to be writing again! It's been 3 long months. 

What does ‘self defence’ mean to you?

To most people it means being able to defend themselves or their loves ones in the event of a violent attack.

And yes, that’s a pretty good reason to learn self defence.

But there’s another part to the equation, that’s just as important. Want to know what it is? Read on!

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Spreadsheets, Processes, Goal Setting and Developing Training Plans

Let’s start with something you (hopefully) already know. Combat sports and self-defence are not the same thing.

If you think they are, then I recommend you read this. If you still don’t believe me, then you should probably stop reading here.

At the same time, there is so much that self-defence practitioners can learn from combat sports! You can read more about this here. Again, if you still don’t believe me then you should probably stop reading here.

So, if you are still reading then hopefully, we are on the same page.  So, let’s talk about some of the training methods that are useful for both, how they cross over, and at a great structure and toolkit for your training.

Ready? Read on!

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Trick Question: Where Does Real-World Violence Happen?

A fight is about to start. You know it. You tried to avoid and you tried to de-escalate with no success. The person is pointing at you, shouting that he is going to punch your teeth down your throat. He is closing the distance quickly and starting to angle his body, so you know a right haymaker is coming next.


You are not worried. You’ve practiced your moves in the dojo thousands of times and you know what to do.


As he closes the distance, you shift your weight and for a front kick to push him back, like you’ve done a million times in training…
… but you lose your balance and fall on your butt. He is right on top of you, and about to try and curb stomp you into oblivion.


Where did you go wrong? Read more to find out.

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Perceptions and Reality, Pt 2: Language Matters

About 5 years ago I wrote this piece on how we perceive violence happens.


In the 5 years that have passed, many things changed, but what was discussed in that article still holds true.


Today I’m going to revisit that idea, and discuss how the language we use impacts our perception, and vice versa, and how that impacts our understanding of, and response to, violence and self-defence.


Below are some of common phrases that are often used interchangeably in self-defence classes. But are they really interchangeable?


Read on to find out!

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Acceleration and Gauges: Thoughts on Less Commonly Discussed Aspects of Adrenaline Management in Self Defence

Adrenaline is one of the realities of self-defence. If you have never experienced violence, you are 100% guaranteed to be adrenalized if something happens. And even if you are very experienced in dealing with violence you are likely to experience adrenal dump – you are just likely to manage it much better.
There are a couple of factors that are not discussed as often when talking about adrenaline:

1. The level of adrenaline you are experiencing
2. The effects of adrenaline on other people (attackers, people you are protecting, bystanders, first responders)
3. The root cause behind the adrenaline

These are crucial pieces to understanding what kind of situation you are dealing with, whether it can be avoided or de-escalated and how far things might go if it deteriorates into a physical confrontation.

Read on to find out why!

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The Missing Ingredient in Self Defence

What do you think is the most important element of self-defence classes?

Giving the student real self defence skills, in all their facets, is the obvious answer, but is it the first one and the only one?
Usually the argument will then go to discussion about technique, or scenarios, or the level of contact or how long it takes to get a black belt. These are all valid discussions, but often miss one important point.
Read more to find out what that point is!
Giving the student what they are after – self-defence skills – is indeed the most important outcome, without a shadow of a doubt. Where many people disagree is what those are, so let’s discuss this briefly:

  • Your technique doesn’t matter: Ok, that’s not quite true. There’s stuff that works and stuff that doesn’t, at least for the most part. But the discussion that most martial artists get stuck on – which technique is best for what – is often totally irrelevant if other more important elements of conflict are not addressed… and those are the ones listed below.
  • Pre-conflict – avoidance, de-escalation and communication, boundary setting, target hardening, situational awareness. Don’t teach it? Then it’s not self-defence.
  • Post- conflict – recovery, first aid, trauma management, litigation (both criminal and civil), retaliation, etc. Don’t teach it? Then it’s not self-defence
  • Scenario training – is a crucial piece for realistic self defence training. It must be included on a fairly regular basis if you are to be prepared for a ‘complete’ attack, as Professor Mike Belzer would say. In other word, this is a way to tie the ‘pre’ and ‘post’ together with the ‘during’.
  • Conditioning – being fit, strong and healthy is a great way to make sure that you are better prepared to handle an attack. Obviously, this is relative and changes from person to person. But at the end of the day, if your ultimate goal for self-defence is to live a long, happy life then looking after your health should be a part of that strategy. If your self-defence classes are not helping people get fitter and stronger, and are nothing but light, technical workouts they are probably not helping much.
  • Adrenaline management – a by-product of most of what is discussed above, but needs to be understood, discussed and trained.
  • Survival mindset – fighting spirit and a mindset of survival, without which none of the other stuff matters.

The next step is to understand how people learn. We need to understand how people learn physical skills and the processes they will go through. I’ll leave this discussion for another time. But there’s still a key ingredient that’s missing.
All of it – literally ALL of it – doesn’t matter in the slightest if the student doesn’t want to come to class.
I’ve attended workshops by very competent Krav Maga and self defence practitioners where the instructor acted as the proverbial ‘drill sergeant’ from the word go. They used extremely foul and aggressive language from the get-go. Their reasoning was that real attackers will use this kind of language and so students have to get used to it. I’ve seen exactly the same thing happen with instructors who use very hard contact from day one.
The vast majority of these kinds of instructors, from what I’ve seen, end up with a small group of dedicated, yet often unhinged, students. The majority of people don’t stick around.
If the goal is to help as many people as possible, then this method is counterproductive. In all likelihood those who will stick around are those who are already tough, already strong, etc. These are the ones less likely to be selected as a victim.
The flip side to that, and more importantly, is that this puts off the people who need the training the most. For example, people who have experienced trauma, the elderly, kids and teens and other more vulnerable sections of society are much less likely to stick around.

So, what does one have to do to make sure that they stick around?
Simple! It must be FUN.

Yes, you read it correctly. Fun. If you want to make people safe, you have to make your classes fun.
Let’s unpack that a little bit.
The dictionary definition is something that is amusing, entertaining or enjoyable.
That’s fairly accurate in terms of what a self defence class should be, with enjoyable being the key ingredient there.

If students enjoy the class, they’ll come again. If they enjoy the next class and the one after that, they’ll continue coming. 
If they keep coming, they’ll get better. If they get better, they’ll be better equipped to deal with a situation if and when it occurs.

Yes, there are time limits and we want to give people skill as quickly as possible. And yes, there obviously has to be a serious tone to the classes. But expecting people to pay money to do something they don’t enjoy is unrealistic. Would you go a restaurant where you hate the food and the service is crap just because the food is healthy? Of course not. You’ll go get your burger where you know the food is tasty and the service is good. Same logic applies here.

Let’s summarise and review:

  • If our end goal is to make sure that people are safer as a result of our training, they have to actually be there to train.
  • For them to want to be there to train, the training has to be fun – engaging, enjoyable, encouraging, empowering and interesting.
  • The populations that need the training the most are also the ones that are less likely to stick around for training that isn’t enjoyable.
  • Fun doesn’t mean easy.
  • There needs to be a balance between fun, challenging and serious.
  • I hope you have fun in your next class!

    Stay safe, stay tuned. Osu/Oss

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